Day 0, August 25th- Realization

I went to the gym for a "fitness evaluation" and over the course of the 30 minute session, the trainer and I discussed how to get in better shape, specifically how to get rid of the beer belly I've had since high school ended and could see hanging around for many more years. We danced around the subject, but I finally asked "And where does beer fit into this equation?" She gave me a blank I-can't-believe-you'd-have-the-nerve-to-ask-that expression and flatly said, "It doesn't."

That left me with two choices: 1) Exercise a lot more than I have time or desire to do. 2) Give up beer for a period of time and see if that helps. Imaging myself up for the challenge, and realizing there were many other ways to get drunk, I decided on option two. The program would be for about one month, ending just in time for my birthday.

I arrived home and noticed one Bud Light can left in the fridge. I grabbed it even though I had no desire to drink or get drunk. The familiar click-hiss sound followed the automatic can opening technique I had perfected years ago. If I had a choice, Bud Light would not have been my preferred way of putting my 6-year love affair with beer on hold. Beggars can't be choosers, they say, and I figured that it was fitting that my last beer be the same brand as my first.

I finished it rather quickly. Some people would have savored it, pining for past memories of drunken hook ups and all night dance fests. I sat on my couch and watched network television. "The Simpsons" was on. Homer and I toasted.